LONDON (ENGLAND) – Lee Hendrie , a former footballer of the English national team , told everyone about his drama .
At the end of his career, the former footballer of Aston Villa and Stoke City found himself without money for some wrong investments .
This sudden poverty , after years of unbridled luxury, made him fall into the abyss of depression .
From there the situation precipitated with Hendrie who tried , fortunately without success, several times to commit suicide .
The former England footballer recounted his drama during the ITV series "Harry's Heroes".
“I fell out of favor after some bankruptcy real estate deals .
I'm not proud of the times I tried to kill myself.
At 43, the golden years of my football career were already a distant memory …
My investments went badly because the real estate market has literally collapsed .
I fell into a deep depression , almost incurable.
I went bankrupt and they are all gone.
I haven't quite gotten out of this situation yet as I still take antidepressants.
Mine is an ongoing struggle , I fight every day.
These negative thoughts never leave me.
I still have a few bad weeks but I am mentally strong enough to overcome them.
I have attempted suicide twice.
The first in 2010.
I stopped at the pharmacy, went inside and bought some pills.
I got back in the car and stopped in an isolated place.
Once stopped, I swallowed all the pills together.
Mine was a true selfish gesture since I have five children …
I have disappointed all of them with my behavior.
I vaguely remember parts of the ambulance trip.
It was all very blurry.
It was horrible.
I had so many worries: 'am I going to a psychiatric ward because I did it?' But above all, I was thinking, 'Will I do it again?
Unfortunately I did it again …
The second suicide attempt was in July 2011.
I had recently divorced, life no longer made sense to me, I wanted to do it at all costs …
I don't remember what I did exactly …
All I know is that I woke up in the hospital on a life support machine.
One thing I remember very well is the shocked look of my family.
This is an image that I can't get out of my mind and it hurts me.
My mother told me to stop because I was hurting the people who loved me.
But I wasn't thinking about all this, I was overcome by my desperation.
I am my worst enemy.
I don't feel like I deserve any applause.
But I'm proud to have become someone else.
I have found excellent employment, I am proud to work for Sky Sports.
I thank all the people who helped me improve with their constructive criticisms.
Despite the bad press, I am still a human being.
I try to do this new job well, but I always fear that things will go wrong again. "
Source: Blitz Quotidiano